Book Review: “Unconditional Parenting” by Alfie Kohn. I often recommended to parents an article by Alfie Kohn called “5 Reasons to Stop Saying Good. Unconditional Parenting has ratings and reviews. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by. 54 quotes from Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason: ‘Even before i had children, I knew that being a parent w.

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The reason, however, is not to silence the child or “extinguish the behavior,” in the soulless language of behaviorists. Some podcasts you listen uncondjtional for a couple weeks or a month and than it gets old – this is not one of those podcasts!

This is not something to try and reinvent. For this book, that happened first on page We are not living in unconditional environs. I think that’s what’s ultimately so disappointing about this book. The child is neither quiet nor attentive, getting louder and more playful right when they should be getting more quiet and relaxed.

See children’s behavior as a “teachable moment”. Just as much research exist to prove a point for behavioristic methods as for Alfies more pafenting approaches.

Attribute to children the best possible motive consistent with the facts: Many of us don’t have the energy to explain to a child about how that television keeps the peace in our marriage, is our only connection to the outside world, or is the only form of entertainment we can afford.

This book feels sanctimonious to me not throughout, but in spots because of that lack of recognition of reality.

Talk less, ask your child more questions 6. What does my kid need? Along with Kohn’s pedantic writing style is a disturbing lack of cited research to back up his wide statements about the effects of certain parenting solutions. Dec 18, Jordan Cuellar rated it it was amazing.

Too theoretical, unconditoinal not enough practical advice. This book did have some good points but you have to skip to the end.

10 Principles of Unconditional Parenting

Si va garantez ca nu veti regreta de timpul acordat ei: The message of the book could be quite a challenge to accept for people who have been exposed all their lives to a different kind of parenting.


So “you can feel kon patience ebbing” is an understatement because it’s as if you said nothing at all to this child.

I study behavior and psychology as a hobby as well as use it in my freelance writing career.

I consider myself a very competent parent and child-care provider afterall, I’ve been doing the latter for some 15 years! I actually read most of this a couple of years previously, but gave my copy to a friend who was having a baby before finishing it. You eventually stick to your rules because consistency and consequences are good thingsand end book reading for the night. It’s not necessary to evaluate kids in order to encourage them.

Thanks for featuring these ten principles I think they are so important and will give some great food for thought to Carnival visitors! I find myself second-guessing everything I say. Healing from Infidelity with Michele Weiner Davis Kohn expects the parent to be ever self-sacrificing, ever-searching for pure motivations behind their children’s behavior.

Jan 27, Nata rated it it was amazing Shelves: They tug on your leg as you’re cooking, and you’re cooking one-handed because you had to pick up the younger child, and you try not to think back about dinner last night, where this same child refused to eat anything you prepared, and you hope that doesn’t happen again tonight, and you try not to think about how bath time is going to go if dinner goes poorly, and by the way you really just wanted to sweep the floor of all things to want to do!

We are not living in the utopia that Kohn imagines. Asking your child will not only elicit helpful eye opening information that will help you better set guidelines and limits, but it will also help them develop reflection skills. Your life as a parent will not be the same. But if there is still no end in sight to brownie-related requests, I think it’s appropriate to stop responding. Doing this with your children both helps to promote this skill in your kids, and is a key characteristic of good parenting!

Kohn has made a career rallying against behaviorism. Children’s sense of their competence, and perhaps oarenting their worth, may come to rise or fall as a result of our reaction.


Synopsis of Unconditional Parenting By Alfie Kohn

Whether or not you’ll like this book depends on your basic theory of children, and Kohn even mentions the trouble conservative Christians may have kogn the idea of unconditional parenting. We are not the privileged upper class where physical goods are never to be made paramount over even a second’s worth pardnting children’s lives.

It gave me lots to think about. Instead he offers thirteen parenting techniques that help parents to honor their kids and to treat them as if they like them rather than are in charge of them. It won’t last forever, but it could last weeks.

I absolutely agree that parents would do well to be more aware of the power dynamics in our relationships with our children, and to be more respectful of them than the world around us is willing to be to young people.

A Crucial Step with Neil Sattin Too Much Control The parfnting problem with parenting in our society isn’t permissiveness, but the fear of permissiveness. And it’s revealed to me that I have often failed as a mother, but it’s also given me hope that I don’t have to continue that way. Parenting is about when you are at the end of your rope- somehow you have to manufacture more rope!

Over and over, the author would present compelling research about how parenting with rewards and punishments doesn’t necessarily get you a kid who’s more compliant.

He asserts that a “working with” approach, rather than the more traditional “doing to” approach, more effectively reaches the goal of a sensitive, caring and independent child. Limit criticisms Make criticism specific to situation, not imply uncoonditional wrong with kid Limit intensity of criticism Look for alternatives to criticism Tommy looked sad that you said that to him When your feeling frustrated, what can we do instead of pushing?

I haven’t actually read the whole book thus my lack of ,ohn star rating here.

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