I had a great life so far and there isn't much i regret, but one thing will now bother me for the rest of my days: I met Fenerbahçe so late... When i listen to the stories of my colour mates, taken to their first games when they were still kids... a past i will never have.
Why? Well, for those who don't know yet: ALMANIM - i'm German. I was born German, living in Germany, no Turkish relatives. I didn't grow up with the Club and Turkish football, i learned about it late. If everything works out the way it is planned, once i will die as Turkish citizen...
Whatsoever, here is my story how i became a Fenerbahçeli:
I got to know Fenerbahçe late but today i'm deeply convinced that true Fenerbahçelis are BORN Fenerbahçelis, it's just a question of time when they open their eyes and start to breathe Fenerbahçe. My eyes opened late but as soon as i could see i took a much deeper breath than many others.
In the early summer 2005 i used to chat a lot in an international room. People from all over the world are visiting this room. There i met my great teacher, the most outstanding man i ever met in my life, to all intents and purposes, in every respect. (I will protect his privacy, but i suppose i won't tell too much when i tell his name - Serkan).
Sure, i was interested in football as long as i can remember, was watching the sport news every Saturday evening with my dad when i was still a little kid. But never ever before i supported any team, no German team, no international club. NEVER EVER BEFOREi wore any team colours!! Today, to me it looks like i was waiting for the right club to come. Fenerbahçe!
Of course i'd heard of Fenerbahçe before, they aren't as unknown as many Turks still think they were in Europe. In Germany at the latest Fenerbahçe's name resounded throughout the land the moment Christoph Daum went to Istanbul, despite the affair he was involved in, still one of the best known and most respected coaches in Germany.
After some weeks my teacher and i suddenly started to talk about football, he started to tell me about Fenerbahçe. I became quiet. I listened very carefully. Never before i heard anybody talking about a football team with so much love and passion. I was confused and impressed at the same time, and i became curious. Suddenly something has changed, i could feel it. Yet i didn't know what it was and i think at this moment it was more subliminal, but for sure something was different.
However, i started to research on my own. I read everything i could find about Fenerbahçe and it didn't take long until i found out about the sensation. It didn't take long to see that Fenerbahçe was far more than just a football team... Fenerbahçe is an ideology, it's a culture on its own, a lifestyle and last not least: Fenerbahçe is a political issue. It was from the beginning since the Club was founded and it still is. (More about that later on "Lacivert Asildir").
So i learned about Fenerbahçe, i learned about Turkish history, Turkish culture and i learned about Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, the founder of the modern Turkish Republic. And also i started to learn the Turkish language, though it will take a while until i'll be fit for conversations, but slowly but surely i'm improving. (At this point one more time THANKS A MILLION to all my Turkish friends who keep helping me patiently).
From now on the chats between my teacher and me had changed, more and more often we talked about Fenerbahçe, he kept telling me all kind of stories about it. One night i will never forget when he reported me everything about the most legendary 6:0 match...
It was on 06 November 2002 when Fenerbahçe humiliated its all time archrival Galatasaray (and this will be the only time i call them by their name!) by a score of 6:0. From now on they were called 6S instead of Gs and this nick expresses all despise for this team and the things they stand for since they were founded until the very day.
I remember Serkan and i were in that public chat room where we once met, both using our webcams but not caring about what happened around us, we started to turn into a complete different universe. He sent me a heap of pics from the match as well as from the lampooning posters that were made of 6S after the game, it must have been at least 70 up to 100 all in all. He told me every single detail about those whose meaning i couldn't understand at that time. Serkan told me about the Republic of Fenerbahçe, about the party that took place in Kadiköy later on after the match all along Bağdat Caddesi, all documented in pictures. When i looked at his cam, i saw him smiling or even laughing, a rare sight to behold, with his eyes sparkling in excitement. And when i was about to say something, i received a "wait wait"... he had so much more to comment and i enjoyed every single moment, i inhaled every single word. I have no idea how long this chat took but it went on for hours. This was the night when i heard about this legendary match for the first time. Only a few months later i owned the DVD and could see it with my own eyes.
On other occasions he told me more about Fenerbahçe history, from the time of its foundation, when Turkish clubs were barred to Turkish people of the Ottoman Empire since the Sultan feared any organized movement which could later become a serious threat against the monarchy. And Serkan told me about the games when only 9 players were on the match field because the other martyr Fenerbahçe players were killed in the war. He told me about Atatürk, who was a self-confessed Fenerbahçe supporter. And so much more.
Early autumn 2005 my teacher backed out of the internet, it should take many weeks before we talked again. He had opened my eyes for Fenerbahçe and everything else now became a self-runner... As mentioned before, i started to read everything about the team, i watched a gazillion of clips, listened to Fenerbahçe songs, met other fans on various ways and and so forth. Before i could realize what has happened i was a fan myself.
My first jersey, my first scarf and finally and for the first time i saw the team live, this was in November 2005, Champions League at Schalke. I went there all on my own, sat right amongst a bunch of Schalke fans. I was easy to identify as Fenerbahçe fan as i was wearing Fenerbahçe colours. A group of 5 or 6 guys started to insult me, "Turkish whore" was one of the nicer things they called me. Too many for a fight, but i stood up for myself and the team with words and fought back verbally and Allah knows these retards had no good time...
A new experience, for the first time i defended Fenerbahçe, fought for the team and i could feel that this was another continuative step of what was still about to follow.
After Serkan has left the internet, i stayed in that chatroom. In the meantime i was well know as Fenerbahçe maniac. And those who didn't know yet found out very quickly the moment they opened my webcam - right behind me there is ALWAYS my jersey and scarf visible, meanwhile also a huge Fenerbahçe flag. Many Turks visited this room, amongst them various eziks who normally started any provokation immediately. I had innumerable fights in this room. Some tried it factually but most were just moronic retards, cursing at me and insulting me. They called me "sarı orospu", "anan sikerim senin" and the usual stuff (i knew enough Turkish to understand these kind of words). Bad luck for them as i am admin in this room and therefore i was able to just kick them out. But i only did when they started to swear as foul language wasn't allowed anyway. With the others i had "discussions", sometimes clinical but most times the hard way. At this time i knew Fenerbahçe only since a few months, but in the meantime i'd learned so much about the club that it did not happen once that it wasn't me who had the final word! I swear i won every single of these disputes! I kept all these chats by the way. In the meantime i'm not that often in this chatroom anymore but i'm still defending Fenerbahçe, nowadays oddly enough against assumed colour mates, those who think they need to insult our players after a sloppy game or offending Aziz Yıldırım and other Board members, which in my opinion is absolutey inacceptable and does not go together with being a Fenerbahçeli. More about this topic later on the "taraftar" page.
In this chatroom we had so called "open mic times" where everybody could play music of his own choice. Of course i used to play Fenerbahçe songs and each time it was reason for more conflicts, immediately these filthy cincons came out of their caves and started cursing at me. Unbelievable. But as fast as they were typing their bullshit, as easy it was to silnce their tongues... SUS, HADDINI BIL! and their traps were shut. Cimboms have no honour, no manners and no spine. It was my pleasure to quieten them, it made me proud that i was able to defend my team against those retards and parallely i kept listening and singing to my Fenerbahçe songs! Another nice effect was that suddenly people from all over the world were interested in this Turkish team called Fenerbahçe who never heard of it before, who weren't even interested in football. I was asked many times what it was about my love to this team, why i am so addicted to it. And it was my greatest pleasure to patiently tell them the story about the biggest and best football team in Türkiye. It would be presumptuous to allege they switched to Fenerbahçe fans therefore, but i know it was helpful to open one or the other's mind for more tolerance in respect of Turkish football and culture.
In this chatroom i did not only meet my wonderful teacher and lowbrowed eziks, i also met some very nice people, other Fenerbahçelis. Some of them became real close friends and i'm still talking to them more or less regularly on MSN or even on the phone, we're sending text messages via mobile phone and sooner or later we gonna meet in Türkiye. I'm looking forward to this. At this time, about 1,5 years ago, i also met Behcet, a good friend of mine who lives here in Germany. He sold a Fenerbahçe DVD on ebay and this is how we got in contact. Since this day we're writing e-mails regularly and he was the one i was talking to on the phone the moment Fenerbahçe had won the championship 2007!! What a wonderful experience to have such a good friend with you at an occasion like this.
Back to where i started... Serkan, my great teacher had left the internet and i hadn't talk to him for about 2 months. In January 2006 he was back all of a sudden. We spent the whole night talking and mostly it was Fenerbahçe we were talking about. He had no idea what had happened to me in the meantime, how i developed to true Fenerbahçeli, how far my love had grown. I remember his face. I don't want to say he was sceptical, but i felt he was astonished. Or maybe it was just my personal, subjective impression because NOBODY ELSE BUT HIM knows better what Fenerbahçe does to people. However, now i was able to speak about the team, the players, the season, transfers etc. And i was so happy that i could share my love with him. And this incredible man, who rarely revealed feelings to the outside, he payed me the biggest compliment i ever reveived in my life when he told me "you ever have my respect"... Then he was gone again for another 2 months but he came back at times, not as often as before but we had time to talk and i enjoyed it a lot.
And then - May 14, 2006 - The league was as close as could be, the decision had to wait until the last match. 6S took advantage of their bjk derby when they payed córdoba for letting this goal in. And we drew at denizli. Game over. I wasn't able to speak for almost 1 week...
5 days after, Saturday afternoon... i was on Antu forum when all of a sudden the screen went red and yellow, these bastards had hacked the forum. I read their filthy words and it made me unbelievably sick. These fucken serefsizler weren't only sore losers, they were also sore winners! How much shit fits in one head?? God, i was so upset.
It was foreseeable that the forum would be down for longer. And what did i do? I didn't even need to think about it, it was a reflex... I started to "clean" my home systematically!! At that time it has been already more than 6 months that i didn't wear any red clothes anymore, i had burnt it all. And now i started to eliminate EVERYTHING red from my home! No more red pillows, flower pots, cutlery, red pencils.... i threw away everything red. And since then i didn't eat anything red anymore: no more tomatoes, strawberries, bell pepper.... nothing! The only red i have left at home is the turkish flag on my Fenerbahçe jersey and the red within the Fenerbahçe emblem.
In the evening i visited the chatroom and Serkan joined aswell. I was surprised to hear that i was not the only one who didn't speak since several days... This night we were both able to speak about it for the first time and i felt honoured that it was me he talked to for the first time. He told me about the incidents that were ongoing that Sunday night in Kadiköy but i won't repeat here. All i can say is that these ongoings taught me for the very first time what it really means when Fenerbahçe supporters say "DIE FOR YOU". And for the first time i felt i was ready to die for this club. No pathos, i am ready.
He was upset just like me and we were both in fighting mood. And we fought this evening, for the first time together even if it was only on the internet in any stupid chatroom. I played another Fenerbahçe song and i knew what would happen as i remembered some of the guest as cimboms. And it was like expected, they started mocking when i played the tune and we struck back. The other admins were about to bounce Serkan but i had the advantage of being admin myself and i told them not to do, so we could could finish them. It know, it was nothing compared to what i've heard shortly before about the incidents in Kadiköy, but as i wasn't able to fight there, i was proud to at least silence the serefsizler verbally that way.
So, this was my story on short notice. There is so much more to tell and i'm about to tell more in the book i've already mentioned. I have started to write it and it will be finished soon. Since i met Fenerbahçe everything has changed, all my life has changed. Fenerbahçe became an integral part of my life - no, Fenerbahçe BECAME my life! - I'm with this club 24/7, i'm learning the language, Turkish culture is closer to me than my own culture has ever been. And the changes proceed.
Thanks to Serkan for teaching me Fenerbahçe, for bringing this club into my life and thanks to all my other friends for all your help and support. Allaha ısmarladık!
A little bit about me:
I was born on 06 October - 06.10. - significant numeral for a Fenerbahçeli :-)
I've never been a person who idealized any celebrities, but there are a few i'm looking up to. Here are some of my heros from sports and music:
- Muhammad Ali *1942 He went his way straight, didn't care what people around him said. He kept fighting for his ideals, was even ready to go to jail before he would join the army. He lost his title for that but he didn't lose his fighting spirit. And he stood up for his religion, the Islam. Long time people didn't accept that he was not Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr. any longer, which was the name his family got when they were slaves. Unforgotten the "Rumble in the Jungle", his great comeback in 1974. Now he is fighting Parkinson. 1999 the Olympic Commitee crowned Ali "Sportsman of the Century".
- Niki Lauda *1949 In 1976 he was leading the Formula 1 championship ranking list. At the German Grand Prix, Nürburgring, he had a terrible accident and almost burnt to death. He had already received Last Sacraments. This happened August 01, 1976. Only 42 days later (!!) Niki sat again in a racing and joined the Monza Grand Prix. He lost the title this season but had ab amazing comback the year after and after 1975 he became champion once again in 1977.
- Lance Armstrong *1971 Youngest road racing cyclist champion of all times in 1993 and promising talent. In October 1996 Lance was diagnosed with nonseminomatous testicular cancer which has already spread to his lungs, abdomen and brain. He fought the cancer. Only three years later he went on to win his first Tour de France title. The rest is history... Lance won the Tour De France, the most prestigious race, seven consecutive times from 1999 to 2005. In May 2004 the Lance Armstrong Foundation was founded, "LIVESTRONG" intends to raise money for cancer research, raise cancer awareness and encourage people to live life to the fullest. Personally i'm wearing one and the same wristband since summer 2004, never took it off until then.
- Hermann Maier *1972 Austrian skier who won 4 overall World Cup titles, 2 Olympic gold medals, 3 World championship titles. In 2001 Hermann had a bike accident, was colliding with a car. His injuries were so fatal that the doctors were already close to amputating his leg. But instead he got massive reconstructive surgeries. In January 2003 Hermann was back and won 2 Super-G races. In 2003/2004 he won the Super-G World Cup and his fourth overall competiton title. In October 2005 he won the Giant Slalom, reached the 51st World Cup which made him the fourth best skier of all times.
- Allessandro 'Alex' Zanardi *1966 Italian racer - Formula 1, IndyCar, Champ Cars... Lausitzring, September 15, 2001 Zanardi was involved in a fatal crash by colliding with Alex Tagliani. After he'd left the pits, Alessandro hit the grass verge and flung back uncontrolled on the race track where Tagliani hit him. Alex' car was teared apart into pieces. He became resuscitated 7 times and lost both his lower legs above his knees... Only two years later he was back in the racing sport. In 2003 he finished his missing 13 laps on the Lausitzring and finished "his" race. Since then he drove various racing classes. Since a few years he is active in the DTM (Deutsche Tourenwagen Meisterschaft) for BMW with a special prepared car. August 29, 2005 in Oschersleben he won his first race after his accident.
In 2006 he was even busy for the Formula 1 one more time. BMW Sauber 1 constructed a special car for Alex' needs and he completed 30 counted laps in Valencia for a test ride.
- Frank Zappa *1940, died 1993 Composer - guitar player - singer - producer - director - writer - conductor - admirer of Béla Bartók and Igor Stravinsky - founder of the legendary band "Mothers of Invention" - prosecutor - cynic - politician - #45 amongst the 100 best guitarists of al times - publisher of 60 albums - father of Moon Unit, Diva, Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa --- GENIUS!! --- Frank Zappa died of prostate cancer in 1993.